Olivia Wilde on Building Lasting Relationships

When Olivia Wilde was just 18 years old, she married Tao Ruspoli, a man 9 years her senior. "You're going to change as you grow older, and that messes up a lot of relationships," she says. But 8 years later, the two are still going strong. The key to long-lasting romance, Wilde says, is to accept that nothing stays the same. The best you can do is adjust along the way.

Ease Pressure

"Even in the beginning, we never put pressure on ourselves," she says. "We were, like, 'Maybe it'll last a week.' And therefore it's lasted years." She attributes much of that to a lack of jealousy on both their parts. When you actively look for things that might hurt a relationship, you turn minor issues into larger ones.

Do Your Own Thing

"Tao is great about saying, 'You go. Have fun. I'm staying home.' It's so important to have that independence," she says. You know it yourself: Everyone needs evenings of their own. If a woman feels anchored to a man's plans, she may start to resent him for the fun she's worried she's missing. Not everything has to be a couples' event.

Hold Your Tongue

Of course it's important to speak up if you feel hurt. But know the difference between a real problem and your own insecurity, Wilde says—and sort your feelings out in your mind before rushing to express them. "I think what ruins relationships and causes most fights is insecurity," Wilde says. "So be secure. It can be hard to force, but you need inner peace if you want peace around you."

via: Olivia Wilde interview in Men's Health Magazine, from the January 2011 issue.

Spiritual Reflections

All of these ideas and reflections were taken from a Unity service on October 17, 2010.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

When we have experiences, we ought to remember that this is for me (not against me).

Spirituality: Meaning. Value. Purpose.

We are here to be real.

Ho'oponopono

I love you.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.

One of Our Last Fine Days

this may be
one of our last fine days
before winter
with her chills and dreariness
claims the dreams
of warm weather folk

Winter's bleak and
unflinching grip
will not have me this season

As a boy,
winter did not take the toll
that it does on me now
I found joy
in snowballs, forts
snowmen.

Winter did not take the toll
that it does on me now.
With rosy red ears
and a runny nose
I still played, despite the cold
Now winter affords only
moments of relief
For sights of sunshine and
melting snow can ease my grief

This season may hold hope
even as gray skies take hold
there may be a candle
to sway the dark, the desolate.
For the warmth of one,
intimate progression
can out-wage the cold and dark.

Written on October 12th, 2010. A sunny fall day in Montana before winter sets in.

Airports are an interesting place

Airports are an interesting place because we are put into a few hours of inescapable limbo. It's a deluge of tension, anticipation, and ultimately, boredom.

If you're a good man, don't fear a soul x-ray

If you're a good man, you have nothing to fear from the woman who can see right through you.

The Job of the Artist - An Inspirational Quote

The job of the artist is to uplift man's soul.
- From the film Local Color.

Is staying up late on the internet or watching TV worth it?

It's usually relaxing to watch Netflix streaming late at night (after midnight) or to just surf the internet, because it's completely quiet with no distractions.

The dilemma is that at some point you'll come to the realization that all this time spent watching TV shows, movies, or surfing the net really adds up to nothing. I'm a photographer and a writer, so if I want to be up late, I ought to be editing photos or writing something.

Where do all the hours of television go? They become hours, even days, of wasted time. Time that could have been spent sleeping or doing something creative. Time that could have gone towards making the next day more productive by getting up earlier.

The only way to really break the cycle is to recognize when you're getting into a cycle of staying up wasting time. Set limits and stick to them. "Nothing good happens after 2 a.m." The other most effective way to break the cycle is to have a set wake-up time. Don't allow yourself to get up after 10 am, even on weekends, if possible.